Another Move Down

I say this every time, but this time hopefully will be the last for a long time.  We moved...AGAIN.  This time we moved out of the 2 bedroom apartment into a 3 bedroom house with a 2 car garage.  We were able to get rid of the storage unit and save about 200 in rent this way.  The only downside is the new commute.

Henry won't be able to come home for lunch breaks anymore because we are about a half hour away from his work.  The cost of living out here is a lot cheaper and we won't be going out as much because there are not as many places to go in this town vs. the old one.

I hardly talk to my family anymore which isn't intentional.  I just get busy doing other things and when I think about it, the time difference just screws everything up.

Lorelei is adjusting well to the new house though she has been clinging at night when Henry is working and it is just the two of us.  I think she thinks that I will cave and let her either stay up really late or sleep in my bed but that is not happening.  That was one of the few things that I have never caved on.

Her trip to Disneyland is on hold indefinitely because she was not only not potty training but she was purposefully making 'accidents'.  She was standing in the kitchen the other day and instead of running to the bathroom, she just stood there and started going and then after the lake was full if you will, she decided, I have to go.  We will make it but its going to be when she stops acting out.

BIG BIG CHANGES!

It has been almost a full year since I last typed out anything.  This year has been full of changes for us.

1. Henry, my husband, began his job search for post-military life.  
2. We bought Henry a car because we thought that he got this job down in Georgia and would need a way to get there and back. Yay for having a car to myself again!
3. That job fell through, though when a door closes a window opens...
4. Henry went to a conference and got picked up by Intel.  His start date was in mid-July. 
5. At the beginning of July, Henry and I drove out to Arizona (where his new job was) so we could get an apartment and get ready for the start of work and then I flew back home to Virginia. 
6. I got the bathroom downstairs (that hasn't worked properly since we moved in) fixed and remodeled.  
7. At the end of August, I was going to just sell my car but they wouldn't give me enough for it so I bought a new one using mine as a trade in.  
8. Lorelei, my mother and I drove out to Arizona.  NEVER again will I do that drive twice in 2 months.
9. My grandfather died in September.
10. My sister got married in October and Lorelei and I flew out to the wedding. 
11. We went to Vegas to see my best friend Kenny:D

Here it is about Christmas time and it amazes me how different my life is.  It is kind of funny watching people out here wearing long sleeves and jackets when it is in the 70s though.  And I never thought that I would say it but I do miss the 90 degree days.   At least here it will NEVER snow.  If we want snow we can just go see it about an hour or two north. 

I am still going strong with the no smoking thing.  In fact, when I smell smoke now, it bothers me.  Strange.  :D

Long Time Coming

I always say I am going to keep up with these things but then I never do. It has been over 5 months and I did keep my promise to myself and I did stop smoking. The only time I wavered was Thanksgiving. We spent it with the in-laws. Enough said. I don't want to get into it anymore than that. It is a long complicated relationship that I would rather not upset myself over right now.

Right now other things are weighing in on my mind. Such as how he is getting kicked out of the Navy. The ERB got him. They just kicked him out. They said you aren't good enough anymore and said F--- you. I know that this is a new start for us and we can handle it, but right now I am just so angry with everything. I don't understand why now. He is doing so well with this new command. I was even fitting in with the navy wives. Yea, ME! They asked ME to do something. I wanted to get involved and of course they came back and basically said F-you and whatever.

I keep saying this is a good thing but in this economy, is it? IS THIS A GOOD THING? Everything we know is being torn away from us. Just taken in an instant by someone sitting in a room with a piece of paper. This isn't fair.

He wants to stay doing what he is doing. They are helping him look for jobs which is really nice. He has a lot of people trying to help but until something comes out of it I am a little skeptical. I just don't want to get my hopes up. I am worried that we won't be able to find something that we can afford to take etc. The only thing we have right now won't pay the bills.

Le Sigh

Sometimes I wish that the work-ups would just disappear. Just freaking stop and go out on cruise already. Seriously. It is just a tease. It is like they are laughing at me rather than helping. I do understand that they are training and trying to make things easier on the separation process and all that 'happy' stuff...but in reality with a young child, like we have, it is just harder. She assumes every time she wakes up and realizes he is at work that he isn't coming home for a few weeks. Its sad. Especially because next week it will be true. I just wish that they would stop all the bs mini trips and just go for cruise and be done with it. Hurry up and be gone so that they can hurry up and come home. To me it makes sense. He doesn't see it that way. He sees it as me kicking him out and not wanting to see him for months on end, but to me, the sooner he is gone for that extended period of time, the sooner he is back for the long extended period of time and we won't have to do it again for a while. That's my theory anyways. I like my theory...I try to keep it simple. Then again, who knows if he will even have a job here in a few months. Shrug.
70 hours and counting...I'm proud of myself;)

No Smoking

This whole no smoking thing isn't too horrible. I mean, right now, the only difference in my schedule is that I am going outside when I need one without one. I still go outside, I still stand or sit outside for the requisite 5 to 10 minutes but I don't smoke. I just sit there and breathe or read or just enjoy the small little break in life. Generally, it helps. After my little 'smoke' break, I go back inside, and the 'craving' is gone and I move on. Granted its only been 2 days but eh, we will see...we will see...

Phew

So he has been home for two days. He came home Saturday night. Saturday morning, I called him and while we were on the phone he got a call that his flight was moved up and that he was going to be home in the afternoon rather than in the evening. YAY! Too bad later in the day, I also got a couple of calls (while dealing with a cranky kid) negating all of that excitement. Back to the original plan. Oh well. Back to square one. I can deal with that.
Cranky Kid. Okay Saturday was horrible. She was a monster and a half. She played in dirt, she wouldn't listen, refused to nap, anything that I said went in one ear and out the other only to do the opposite tenfold. It was beyond anything I have had 'the pleasure' of dealing with with her before. It was tantrum after tantrum with a smile thrown in after screaming and screaming for hours. I just didn't know what to do.
He has a whole 7 more days home before he leaves again. This time for 3 weeks. Oh joyful. I thought the 2 weeks with my lovely daughter were fun. These 3 weeks should be fun:)
Oh yeah, did I mention that I haven't had a cigarette in 22 hours? Yeah. My laziness prompted me not to go get more two nights ago so I ran out yesterday morning. I am without a car during the days. I am still in the habit as of right now of going outside when I feel like I need one. It helps. I think that it is more the habit of going outside rather than the actual 'nicotine' because I have a pack stashed somewhere. He brought me home a pack and hid it. I still haven't broken into it. I'm proud of myself. I'm not going nutso yet. We will see how long this lasts.

feeling better but still down in the dumps

I found out that he had the dates wrong. Wow. He assumed that the date that he is coming back was a Saturday but rather than tell me that it was Saturday he just said the date. He never said specifically it was Saturday. So while I knew the 'date' and planned accordingly, I had it wrong the entire time because he never looked at the calendar and corrected me. I am so annoyed with it. How hard it is to get it right? I mean, yes, its only a day but still. I have told my daughter over and over when daddy is coming home and all of a sudden I am wrong and its all because I had the wrong information. *sigh*. I know that there is nothing I can do about it, but it is still frustrating.
I have been feeling better, which is great but she is still in butt mode. Still throwing tantrums for no apparent reason or for such small things that I can't help but get angry. I am trying to be understanding because he is gone and that is probably why she is acting out...that and she is so young, but it is still so frustrating.
With everything in life so up in the air, and this 'part-time single-parent-hood'...I am just at wits-end sometimes. I know I should just buck up and get over it but its hard. That is part of the reason why I started writing on here. So that I can vent my frustrations and then be done with it. I know that eventually I won't be alone in all of this but at the same time when he is here, sometimes I feel like I deal with the same things anyways. The damn play station stays on anyways.
I'll get over it. I always do, but shrug. Whatever. At least this seems to help for now. And that is what matters.